none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
