I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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