I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my being single is dangerous.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
