it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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