I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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