My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
