I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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