Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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