scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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