It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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