she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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