I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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