I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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