please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
