Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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