how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
