At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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