OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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