When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Everything about him screamed your future.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
