The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
