Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
