whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
