and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
