The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
