It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
