we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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