So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
