Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
