Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
