You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
