words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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