can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
