Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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