he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
