Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
