I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
