Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The air was thick with penises
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
