Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
