Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
