i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
