I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
