Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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