Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
