If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
