I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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