I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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