Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
