we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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