The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
