sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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